Over 100 students, friends and family recently relived their grade-school glory days in the bowels of Mem Gym, playing a cherished pastime – dodgeball!
For most students, it had been years since they last played. Not so for Section C’s Kirk Hetherington. “I played just 10 months ago. My camp, Emerald Bay, has a great tradition of dodgeball.” Unable to make the event, he told his sectionmates that “the key to victory is the simultaneous cross-court throw.”
Section C, though greatly outnumbered, used such pearls of wisdom to win its two round-robin games, proving that the underdog spirit was alive and well. “Our numbers are our competitive advantage. We employed lean thinking. More players would have been unnecessary muda,” said Josh Evans.
“We’d rather have seven Maseratis than 25 Tata Nanos,” added Whit Wall.
Nash Dykes, of Section B, explained a different strategy, “We tried to pick out the women and children, but since the only kid on the floor was our own Ben Bloomfield’s son, we stuck to just the women.”
Nash was not alone. Section D Athletic Rep Jeff Otis was called out twice for hitting girls in the head. Molly Welch can now vouch that Otis spent time in the NFL.
“Hey, you play to win. I’m sorry the balls kept rising, but you’ve got to go all out,” Otis explained.
Facing section B in the semis, D’s fate came down to Lindsey Evers. Employing the five D’s of dodgeball – dodge, duck, dip, dive and … dodge – she hit the deck, semi-purposefully, and rolled to the boards in a daring defensive maneuver. It was to no avail, though, and B moved on.
Facing them in the final was Section E, who powered passed the Cinderella C’s, outnumbering them nearly three-to-one.
Each finalist had a secret weapon. For B, it was Spencer Boice’s mom. When asked why she was there, Mrs. Boice said, “I never got to play this game with Spencer when he was eight; I might as well play with him when he’s 28.”
Athletic Rep Benson Metcalf said it was easy finding motivation for the final: “I told everyone about Mr. B coming out of retirement for this event in 2008. He made a diving catch with his teeth that won the tournament. You had to be there.” (Professor Brownlee was unavailable to confirm the story. Is it ethical, Benson, to rally the troops under false pretense?)
On the other side, Section E was powered by Professor Bob Landel. Athletic Rep Ben Siegel was ecstatic to have his professor on the team: “It’s great having Landel out there with us, so I’m not the only one with an AARP card.”
Landel’s 360-degree evaluations on the court made him hard to touch, but his teammates were not so lucky, leaving him as the last man standing.
In the waning moments, Robert Fogarty, standing on the line facing the professor, was heard growling, “Bob Landel, I’m coming for you, man. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious!”
Landel staved off elimination for a while but finally threw a ball into Fogarty’s waiting hands.
“They could NOT touch me,” Landel said afterward. “They won on some technicality. I’m glad I could support our section; I still think we’re the team to beat.”
Truer words were not said all day. Section B’s victory gave only them a chance at taking the Cup away from the defending champs. The 5k is the only event left, so the champion will be crowned when the top racers literally come down the stretch in May.
